I’m starting to unpack some of my thoughts on mens ministry. I’m aware that i’m not presenting
fully formed thoughts in this blog right now, however, I have to start somewhere.
This first thing that I have to wrestle with is probably the term that is “mens ministry”. I am aware that this one phrase alone stops me engaging with it altogether.
To say a ministry is for “men” is to suggest that all men need to be engaged in the same way as each other and to me therefore denies the fact that men are different. If we say our focus is men then we, i believe, start to have problems. By lumping us altogether suggests the same ministry will be for all of us and would be suitable.
My experience of mens ministry has the starting point that “Men don’t talk about feelings and that men find it hard to sit in a group and share, through conversation, how they are feeling.” indeed i started listening to a CVM podcast today that made this exact point, that we have to start with this understanding that men are fundamentally different than women and the ministry to them has to reflect this.
(I just wanted to cry, but as I am a man, and am not in touch with my emotions, I simply tried to fix the problem!)
So the suggested answer is to provide a different way for men to engage with the issues. Provide them with a radical cause to ge behind as men are problem solvers want to fix things.
I struggle with this. Not as a concept as I recognise that not all men are the same. For some this is will be a perfect way to engage in a living faith. Also for some men who are in church and can relate to this, I would imagine that they see this as the answer as a way to reach other guys.
However, I cannot connect to this process of engaging with my faith and could not use it as a way to engage others.
So it’s not for me. That’s fine, I can deal with that. There are other guys for whome it works perfectly. Go for it!
However, where does that leave me? I’m a man, who is no longer able to engage in mens ministry & I cant engage in women’s ministry (the clue is in the gender name).
So I feel maginalised. Pushed to the edges simply by a title.